The agni in my mula bhanda area (if you know what I mean ;), well it apparently died when I got pregnant. I was freaked out because from everything Hollywood had taught me, pregnant goddesses are supposed to be down with the boom boom. My libido didn’t get that message and after my little guy was born and my breasts turned into milk machines I still couldn’t find that fire. It’s taboo to talk about this stuff, so often a new mom is left alone, confused, and really nervous about being able to physically connect with her partner. So let me tell you something:
THIS IS NORMAL.
You are still sexy. You are still beautiful. You are still you, but may I say, even better! Your libido will return and rest assured, you are still attracted to your partner and they to you. Now breathe.
While there is no panacea to cure this phase automatically, there are some practices that helped me and that I want to share with you.
- Vigorous Asana – if you want transformation, you have to stoke the fire. (Please check with your doctor to see if you are ready for this; as always, honor your body’s limits). Incorporate lots of standing poses and connect with your primal nature through the Earth.
- Meditation on Mula Bhanda – in a seated pose, focus moving mula bhanda in and out, just as you are breathing. Increased awareness helps direct the fire within.
- Ujjayi & Uddiyana Bhanda – Engage these elements when practicing asana. For your first practice post-partum (and with Dr’s OK) choose an experienced teacher to give you a customized sequence.
- Nadi Shodhana – This pranayama will help balance you. Use caution with Kapalabhati, you will need the guidance of a senior teacher with experience post partum before you should engage in the breath of fire.
- Physically Connect – Make a conscious effort to hold hands and every day set an intention to give your partner a kiss. No. Matter. What.
- Love – consciously remind yourself of your appreciation for your partner, your gratitude in sharing a family, and feed your emotional connection.
- Try Music – YogiTunes are just as great to inspire your intimate practice as your asana one. Start slow and build. Try yoga music designed to be fluid and fire inspired. Check out some of our Sensual Sutra playlists to find a soundtrack for your seduction.
- Patience – This too shall pass. My midwife told me that the woman’s body is on a natural two year cycle as it takes about 2 years before a woman’s body is back to a prime ability to birth. It’s different for everyBODY. This means hormones remain out of whack for a while.
- Read Together – read some sensual poems or find a fun Kama Sutra and try reading to one another. For some, this will be a new and somewhat awkward practice, but it evolves and easily becomes a favorite one.
- Choose To Engage – Just like early morning asana practice, you have the choice to continue to sleep or to wake up and practice. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. You will ease the samskara that tells you you’re not into it. Once you get going, your libido agni will rekindle.
I wish someone had told me these things when I was worried and confused. I wish women felt the freedom to talk about this more too. Believe me – this was hard to pour out.
I hope you can find solace through these practices and use the music to enhance the mood. Please feel free to share your own experiences and practices in the comments. Until next time……Brown Chicken, Brown Cow.
-Written by Kirsten Hedden, who teaches at Namaste Wellness Studio in Peoria, IL
Check out YogiTunes's Sensual Sutras collection:
- some pretty juicy stuff in there!
More Sensual Love Making Playlists coming soon!!